Scratching around a mosquito bite is the English way of avoiding confrontation

By George ILIEV
CorporateNature Metaphor Series, No 109

What is the best way to scratch a mosquito bite? Scratching the bite right in the middle will make it even bigger and more sore and itchy. What you can do instead is scratch in a circle around the bite with the tip of a pen or pencil. Miraculously, you would get the same relief from the scratching without exacerbating the soreness of the bite itself, as the signals fed to your brain by the touch receptors on the skin do not tell apart two points of pressure if they are less than 1 cm away from each other (apart from on the face, hands and feet). Basically that's what I call "to beat around the bush."

Metaphorically, the rule "always scratch a mosquito bite indirectly" directly applies to the English. The English typically avoid direct confrontation, probably as a vestige of a class society (could the butler contradict his master?) that only started to change after World War 2. With great elegance, the English manage to communicate what they want and pursue their interest in a polite and non-confrontation way. English corporate culture is also notorious for people "sitting on the fence": why get into a fight or take sides if your vital interests are not at stake (as is the case most of the time).

This can also explain why Brexit has spiralled into such a nightmare: it is a major divergence from the English way of doing things. The English are simply in terra incognita in the bust-up with Brussels.

If you don't believe me about English culture, read "Watching the English" by anthropologist Kate Fox. As for the mosquito bite, try it on your skin next time you spot one.

Insect bite (Source: Wikipedia)

Toothpaste flows out of the tube only one way. So does Brexit!

By George ILIEV

CorporateNature Metaphor Series, No 102 (Originally published on May 15, 2019; republished on May 17, 2019.)

British astronomer Arthur Eddington developed in 1927 the concept of "the arrow of time": time only flows in one direction. In this it resembles toothpaste and Brexit.

The Brexit process is like squeezing toothpaste out of a tube. Once the toothpaste has come out, it can never go back in again. Similarly, if Britain leaves the EU, it will never be able to re-join the EU again.

No other EU member state fits the toothpaste metaphor better than Britain. That's because no other EU member state has obtained so many opt-outs from EU policies over the decades. Britain also gets the proverbial "budget rebate" from the EU each year, thanks to Margaret Thatcher's tough negotiating and her "handbag". If Britain were to leave and reapply for EU membership later, it wouldn't get those exemptions, which would push the EU accession terms beyond the line that the independence-minded British political class would find acceptable.

However, there is one more twist to the toothpaste metaphor. What happens to toothpaste that has come out of the tube? In most cases it is spat out and washed down the sink. 

Toothpaste (Source: Wikipedia)

Post-industrial and post-colonial Britain is a hollow poplar, not a sturdy oak

By George ILIEV
CorporateNature Metaphor Series, No 87

Britain's global dominance grew like a poplar tree: the rise of Britain was quick and reached high. In the century between the defeat of Napoleon in 1815 and World War 1, Britain was the undisputed global power. The memory lives on. 

Many Brits, however, confuse the metaphor of the poplar with the more popular British symbol: the English oak. An oak can live for over a thousand years; a poplar barely lasts a hundred. What makes things worse for the poplar is that the core of the poplar trunk usually goes hollow as years go by and this eventually brings about its demise (though cuttings may emerge and re-grow into young trees from the stump.) 

Britain owes to industrialisation and colonisation its transformation into a global power in the 19th century. By the 21st century, however, these two phenomena are merely a distant memory for Britain. Brexiteers still think that, because Britain is standing tall in the forest of the world's nations, it must be a formidable player. Yet, once you realise that the core of the poplar is hollow, you have to accept that the UK has a more limited role to play in global politics and trade. 

In this respect, Britain can learn from small countries like Bulgaria and Denmark. Bulgaria saw the zenith of its power in Europe in the 10th century, while the Danish/Norse Vikings conquered Europe in the Middle Ages but have not been heard from since. Both Bulgaria and Denmark were once poplars that have since toppled over and all that is left of them is a clump of cuttings around the stump. Britain's poplar still has a standing trunk but it now firmly belongs to the poplar club, even if being a poplar may not be particularly popular with many Brexiteers.

Poplar tree (Source: Wikipedia)

(Note: this article is based on Brexit Metaphor No 151, with some amendments:
http://brexitmetaphors.blogspot.com/2019/03/poplar-not-oak.html)

Brexit is a rewilding project. In other words: a mammoth task!

By George ILIEV
CorporateNature Metaphor Series, No 86

Brexit is a rewilding project: an attempt to return a habitat to its past natural state in the terms of conservation biology. Over several decades, the EU has evolved as a strong domesticating force on the EU member states. This helped maintain peaceful co-existence and economic cooperation on the continent: you can have domestic animals (dogs, cats and guinea pigs) as pets under a single roof but you cannot have wild animals living closely together (think tigers, lions and rhinos).

However, a key question is how far back in time Brexiteers aim to take Britain in the rewilding project. 

Would they wish to bring back beavers (extinct since the 1500s AD) and wild boar (extinct since 1400 AD), or elk (extinct since the Bronze Age), for example? Or do they plan to bring back the wolverine (extinct since 6000 BC) or even the woolly mammoth (which disappeared around 10,000 BC).

In economic terms, the rewilding project may range from re-introducing state aid (banned under EU competition law in order to create a level-playing field) to scrapping the EU Working Time Directive. It could go further in relaxing health and safety rules to emulate the regulatory regime of the US. Or some could even contemplate extreme scenarios like bringing back child labour (mind you, for the purpose of re-educating recalcitrant youth, some hardliners might argue). 

The latter does look extreme but didn't we all think that mammoths were done and dusted and all that remained of them were their mammoth tusks (just as we thought the "honourable members for the 18th century" belonged to the 18th century). Now, however, de-extinction is starting to become a fashionable and realistic prospect for bringing back animals that have previously gone extinct. Mammoth tasks are not so mammoth any more.

The mammoth is dead. Long live the mammoth!

Woolly mammoths (Source: Wikipedia)

(Note: this article is based on Brexit Metaphor No 112, with some amendments: 

https://brexitmetaphors.blogspot.com/search/label/rewilding)

UK needs to choose its Brexit future: dog-into-wolf OR dog-into-dingo

By George ILIEV
CorporateNature Metaphor Series, No 69.

Brexit will need to unwind 45 years of economic and legal convergence between Britain and the EU. This is similar to unwinding the genetic evolution of the domesticated dog and turning it back into a wild wolf...or at least into a dingo (a feral dog). Britain's choice of divergence strategies (dog-into-wolf OR dog-into-dingo) is actually not much of a choice. Sadly both come with the stigma of being an outsider to the civilised human world.

The full text of this #BrexitMetaphors blog post can be found here: 

http://brexitmetaphors.blogspot.com/2018/12/dog-wolf-or-dingo.html

Dingo (Source: Wikipedia)